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| BDSM through the mind of an 18 year old teen.? i have had people ask me on occasion, "what do you see in bdsm?, "why would you want to be put through pain?" "why, why bdsm?, its awful". well, i will try my best to explain bdsm through MY point of view. BDSM for me, is an escape, not just a sexual escape, but a mental escape. I believe i noticed my love for bdsm when i was about 12, i started to think about being raped, tortured, chained, bound, etc.. from an early age, i was having constant nightmares about men chasing me, hunting me, trying to capture me, my dreams never let me see what happened after i was captured for some reason, but they were always the same. Over the years, as i got older, my fantasies grew larger and more perverse, and then when i was 15, something horrible happened, i was raped by a 31 year old man. After i was raped, something inside me changed, for the worst i would say, something inside me felt hate, rage, power, weakness, so many emotions. And it seems my mild fantasies became a horrid reality... |
| For me, it was a natural instinct. Nothing brought me to it; it was nothing I learned or experienced. Even before I entered kindergarten, I asked my parents something like, "Can I have a girl when I get older?" but they thought I meant a girlfriend or wife. I tried to explain that I didn't want a dog or a cat or a fish or any other kind of pet; I wanted to own a GIRL. They said, "Of course not" and went on about how "wrong" it was to think that way. They also told me I couldn't eat pudding for dinner because that was "wrong," BUT that I could when I was grown up if I wanted to. I'm grown up now. I eat pudding for dinner if I want. I still want to own a girl. |
| Serious Q Im a teen girl and i have lots of strange fetishes why is this? im 16 and i get turned on by stories about necrophilia/bestiality/bloodplay/bdsm what the heck is wrong with me??? what causes ppl to have weird fetishes =/ |
| There is nothing wrong with you. It's perfectly normal to have "strange" fantasies. As long as you feel like your normal, everyday life is not made worse by these fetishes, you're fine. Most people sometimes think about and even fantasise about things that they would never admit to anyone else. |
| Why is everyone weird about BDSM? I am a 15 year old boy, and i have asked questions about BDSM before, but every time i ask for real advice everyone always acts like its weird and i dont know what im talking about. They say im "just" 15 and should be thinking about other stuff. In fact several of my questions that were not rude in any way, just about BDSM, got reported. I do know what im talking about, i do know all about safety, not only about BDSM, but about sex in general (like always use protection, dont do it with someone you dont know very well, that kind of stuff). I truthfully dont know why everyone is so weird about it. I know BDSM will come to be a very big part of my life, and i want more answers on it, not from some site telling me what to do, but from people with real experience. so my real questions are why is everyone wierd about BDSM, and teens participating in BDSM when they know what they are doing ( i can understand people telling someone who has no idea what the hell they are doing not to try it for the time being). Thanks for answering! |
| People are often 'weird,' as you call it, mostly because of your age. Beyond the basic issue of many 'adults' not even being comfortable with the concept of teens having sex, most seem to feel as if you cannot be 'into' the lifestyle until and unless you reach a certain, magical age, and even then, that number often isn't 18 - I've heard it as high as 30 for doms and 25 for submissives. The real crux of the age issue, seems to revolve around two (mostly) false assumptions. The first is that one cannot know what one wants at so young an age. The second is that one cannot be experienced enough in _anything_ before a certain age, for them to be OK to try it out. The proponents of this stance feel that anyone under a certain, magical age of 'it's ok to do this, now' will likely bungle the job and hurt themselves, or worse, others, in the process. The folk who feel this way often fail to take into account that just as gay vs. straight is part of one's sexuality, so is polyamorous vs monogamous, and so is Kink vs Vanilla. they are all different layers of sexuality, and they all fall on a spectrum, rather than just a black/white, yes/no binary. The age issue is also likely related to the fact that anyone older than 17 who discusses such things with you will have to walk a fine line of presenting facts and answering questions factually (as a text-book might) rather than having a sexually charged conversation when answering (as a porn-mag might). The difference is the difference between being helpful and being a pedophile. A pretty big difference. However, for people for whom this is the only hang up, they may not realize that BDSM goes FAR beyond sex, and you can engage in Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadism/Masochism all without engaging in any sexual acts whatsoever. If, as an aside, you want factual, non-sexual answers, you can feel free to email me from my profile, and i'll steer you as best I can. |
| Why are people weird about BDSM? I am a 15 year old boy, and i have asked questions about BDSM before, but every time i ask for real advice everyone always acts like its weird and i dont know what im talking about. They say im "just" 15 and should be thinking about other stuff. In fact several of my questions that were not rude in any way, just about BDSM, got reported. I do know what im talking about, i do know all about safety, not only about BDSM, but about sex in general (like always use protection, dont do it with someone you dont know very well, that kind of stuff). I truthfully dont know why everyone is so weird about it. I know BDSM will come to be a very big part of my life, and i want more answers on it, not from some site telling me what to do, but from people with real experience. so my real questions are why is everyone wierd about BDSM, and teens participating in BDSM when they know what they are doing ( i can understand people telling someone who has no idea what the hell they are doing not to try it for the time being). Thanks for answering! |
| People are often 'weird,' as you call it, mostly because of your age. Beyond the basic issue of many 'adults' not even being comfortable with the concept of teens having sex, most seem to feel as if you cannot be 'into' the lifestyle until and unless you reach a certain, magical age, and even then, that number often isn't 18 - I've heard it as high as 30 for doms and 25 for submissives. The real crux of the age issue, seems to revolve around two (mostly) false assumptions. The first is that one cannot know what one wants at so young an age. The second is that one cannot be experienced enough in _anything_ before a certain age, for them to be OK to try it out. The proponents of this stance feel that anyone under a certain, magical age of 'it's ok to do this, now' will likely bungle the job and hurt themselves, or worse, others, in the process. The folk who feel this way often fail to take into account that just as gay vs. straight is part of one's sexuality, so is polyamorous vs monogamous, and so is Kink vs Vanilla. they are all different layers of sexuality, and they all fall on a spectrum, rather than just a black/white, yes/no binary. The age issue is also likely related to the fact that anyone older than 17 who discusses such things with you will have to walk a fine line of presenting facts and answering questions factually (as a text-book might) rather than having a sexually charged conversation when answering (as a porn-mag might). The difference is the difference between being helpful and being a pedophile. A pretty big difference. However, for people for whom this is the only hang up, they may not realize that BDSM goes FAR beyond sex, and you can engage in Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadism/Masochism all without engaging in any sexual acts whatsoever. If, as an aside, you want factual, non-sexual answers, you can feel free to email me from my profile, and i'll steer you as best I can. |
| BDSM for teens....? Your thoughts? Another Q I would never ask my mom...hahahaha Bondage and Discipline. Domination and Submission. Sadism and Masochism. I was just wondering. If you don't know what it is....ever see an assasin from a movie (female) go into a room to kill the bad guy and she's all in leather and she starts popping him with a whip and he likes it...? lol! Or where they tie someone up and make rough sex with 'em? lmaooooo. I know this is probably a helpless question.....but I was just wondering! lol. No opinion is right or wrong, but, please! I can't stand bible-thumpers. |
| This is a very difficult topic for anyone especially myself since I've been participating in the BDSM lifestyle since I was 11 years old (yes the internet is a crazy and terrible thing). On the one hand, if you're able to educate yourself, stay safe, only play with people you know you can really trust, and be smart about you who choose to trust, I say it's something that could be considered although I wouldn't exactly recommend it. The simple fact is that these days people are having sex at younger and younger ages while I don't think that you should be having sex before 16, I know it's not up to me. On the other hand, because you're younger, you're a quick and easy target for harassment, assault, abuse and rape regardless of whether you present as a Dominant or submissive. And yes, despite what you may be thinking I'm not only talking from years of helping friends and acquaintances, but personal experiences as well. In the world of BDSM age is always seen to go along with experience, the younger you are the more people will try to take advantage of you because your age presents you as inexperienced and unprepared. Furthermore, the simple fact is that unless you have really impressive hormones, teenagers usually aren't extremely big or extremely strong, so even if you are more experienced than you appear, you're still easily overpowered. Finally, while it is a bit of a cliche, most teens are still trying to figure out who they are and where they stand in the world, unfortunately this is something that most predators pick on a lot. Because of all the craziness most teens are going through, they're unfortunately influenced by someone who knows how to manipulate others. Whether or not you want to take my recommendations to heart, I ask that you be extremely careful. The truth is that I was one of the lucky ones and only had a few negative experiences, however over the years I have experienced, seen, and heard of things that will without question scar my mind for the rest of my life and most of those cases the victim was a teenager. Personally I'd recommend you wait, I know you don't want to but this really is for your own mental and physical health. However if you decide to explore and adventure, may I ask that you take a look at the question "In bdsm how can I tell a proper Dom from a nutjob or fake?" from my best answers section. If you have any other questions feel free to send me a message, I spend a good amount of my free time these days giving training, advice, and support on how to enjoy BDSM while staying safe. |
| Are teens who are into BDSM 'normal' and sane? The question says it all! I am very curious about this, what random people and/or the medical community believe as to whether or not teenagers being into bondage and fairly hardcore BDSM is indicative of some sort of mental imbalance. Thanks in advance for your answers! |
| It's not insane, however the truth is that the majority of society isn't it it, which is why your friend gave you that response. Personally I got into BDSM before I was even a teenager and I know plenty of other people who did the same or a few years later so it's certainly possible for a teenager to enjoy it. Oh and for those thinking I'm a freak, I'm actually a very respectable person in a long term relationship. Personally I'd say avoid the "scene" and BDSM parties simply because I've heard far too many negative stories. Just make sure to find someone you can trust, don't jump into something you've never done, and always practice safe sex. |
| A question for people into BDSM??neeeeeeeeed help? Hello, everyone! Since my early teen I've been fantasizing about getting dominated by a man (or more than one man), in a sexual way...I really want to make the fantasies a reality...but I'm scared! I've watched MANY porn bdsm videos and many things I saw were FAR to painful for me...Like, I dont want someone to bite my nipples so hard they start to bleed, I dont want to eat the **** or drink the piss of anyone... Spanking ok, things that cause serious damage no, and **** piss drinking HELL NO!! Are there masters who dont hurt their slaves so much?That just spank' em (or cane, paddle etc), use them as sex toys, humiliate them in not-to-painful ways?Am I just to soft for BDSM? |
| There are degrees in BDSM. There's hardcore (what you describe) and softcore. The master (dom) is responsible NOT to do anything that will physically harm the sub. ALL scenes are discussed in advance, with the sub always allowed to object to anything, even during the scene. It's supposed to be fun, dear. The "pain" is more perceived than actual. It's more like humiliation as you said. There are serious, kinda stern people that go more for the hardcore. Again, though, it would be a huge breach of ethics to do something bad or painful to a sub without knowing what the sub thinks about the scene. Have fun! Auntie Kookoo |
| BDSM? Is it wrong for me to be interested at a young age?? (Please don't judge) :D? i'm in my teens and have been curious about this for ages now. I'm in a normal relationship but thinking about ending it as i don't feel the spark or need something rougher. Me and my mate recently watched the secretary and i will do certain and things and she might call me a submissive as a private little joke but it always makes me really happy. am i just destined to be a sub?? |
| If you enjoy it, go ahead. Why would it ever be wrong, provided it effects only the consenting? |
| DO TEENAGERS KNOW ABOUT BDSM? Ok so teens may know the basics about sex...but do they know detailed sex like bdsm and other things? Fetishes..worships etc?? What do you think?..I'm talking about teens in general. |
| i think that you will find that the average teenager knows something about the world of BDSM, however I think that the majority of them will not understand the proper dynamics of the lifestyle and for the most part, think of it as just kinky sex, when it is so much more. k |
| What has bottoming got to do with being feminine? I am a bisexual guy in the late teens and I love bottoming for guys and topping girls, but thats purely out of the pleasure of the sensaions. I also like bottoming as I feel loved. But I dont think I have ever wanted to be weak or submissive. I dont even like BDSM. So, why is it said that bottoming is a feminine thing? |
| because when you top a girl you the man, and when you let a guy top you, your the woman. but it stupid and doesn't just your mascanlinity |